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Resilience

When I think of resilience I think of daisies as they are super resilient (whenever I mow the lawn they pop back up the next day!).  Resilience is the capacity to recover from a difficult time or place and to bounce back from that struggle, coming out stronger and wiser. It’s about maintaining our mental health and well-being while continuing essential tasks.  Everyone has struggles in their lives and everyone is going through something right now, whether small, big... or life changing. Looking at hurdles we've overcome in our past, how we battled, what worked, what didn't, helps us to remember we are resilient and we can get through whatever faces us. 


As an emotional coach I explain this to children using superpowers:

We all have super powers that represent our feelings. They all help us in some way and we can tap into our super powers whenever we needs them. E.g. if we face a new challenge we use our brave super power. Our brains are like libraries that store our memories. Events that happen get filed away everyday with the date on the box. Sometimes, we look back at memories from the past, they can seem scary, like being left alone in a room for 10 minutes at 2 years old. But we're older now and we understand that at 2, we didn't like being left alone, but now we know that's safe. We can look back at past memories, learn from them and use them to be an even stronger person. We can look for the positives, for the super powers that have helped us and are shaping who we are.


This totally relates to adults as well, we are all growing still as people and we can look back to past experiences and look for the positives, what we may have gained or learned, look for that silver lining. Two examples from my own life are:


At 11 I nearly died from an extremely rare illness that no doctor knew about. They carried out a "wrong" operation, then I was temporarily paralyzed after they made a mistake with my medication. BUT they saved my life, I’m so grateful because if I'd been born a few years earlier I would've died (from lack of technology).


At 15 I was anorexic, which turned into bulimia, self-harm and lasted for years on and off. BUT I learnt a deep understanding of mental health, addiction and many types of therapies, as well as becoming a non-judgmental empath.


Looking for the positives isn’t always easy, but understanding how our past may have lead to a lack of self-belief or self-worth and then looking at the experiences we've had, we can see how we were building up super powers of bravery, resilience, confidence, gratitude and more. 


Useful questions to ask yourself:


What struggles have you had in your past?

How did you deal with them, what things helped you overcome them?

Think of a struggle you face now and what you're feeling - about it and yourself?

What is this (problem / feeling) similar to?

What skills have you learnt from your past, which you could use in your present issue?





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